You are a NOOB if
1. You have Dell and/or AOL tech support on speed dial.
2. You refer to any CPU as an “Intel Inside Pentium.”
3. You own an AOL optimized PC or use AOL.
4. You need to call a relative for help every time you want to transfer pictures from your digital camera to your computer.
5. The only operating system you know of is Windows.
6. You refuse to buy goods on the Internet because you are scared your credit card number will be stolen.
7. When your computer gets a virus, you call the technician who set up your computer and tell him he did a bad job.
8. Every time you check your email, you have to click “I forgot my password” to login.
9. You never use your computer after dark. After all, all hackers work in their dark rooms at night, occasionally getting past the advanced security features of Microsoft AntiSpyware to view your photos of last year’s family vacation.
10. You think anyone under the age of 27 who wears a hoodie, has pimples, and uses a computer more than 3 hours a day is a hacker.
11. You will not install hardware on a computer that is not Microsoft verified.
12. The password to your computer is password.
13. You know the members of your local Best Buy Geek Squad by first name.
14. You think stealing someone’s IP address is illegal.
15. Your kids are forbidden to use any computers, even at school, because you don’t want them stalked, kidnapped, and used in Greek porn movies.
16. You know for sure Linux is a web browser.
17. If a website doesn’t work in IE, it’s not worth visiting.
18. When a nephew kindly tries to put Firefox on your PC for you, you tell him no because you only use Microsoft quality software. After all, everyone knows the blue screen of death is always caused by non-Microsoft products.
19. You think all gamers are lifeless.
20. You don’t know what a NOOB is.