Did you know that
A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it)
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that’s more like it)
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
(I wouldn’t either if I had teeth like that)
The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
(Now I am far from a geography expert….but I can’t believe I never noticed that before)
It’s impossible to lick your elbow.
A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.
(who researches these things)
Nearly everyone who reads this will try and lick their elbow.
(I believe that one….I know I tried)
40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
(I hate to even ask how someone gets attacked by their toilet)
A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened
(and the person who wanted to know exactly how long a hanger is bad enough that he unraveled one has way too much time on his hands)
Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
(I shudder at the thought of that)
The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.
(but its not nearly as funny as them sticking their heads in the sand because they think they are invisible)
Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem
(I’m not sure why I find this funny!)
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
(Do they look different reversed?)
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse.This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
(Much worse than "going blind!")
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason under Guam law?? It is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
(Let’s just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband’s lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England – but only in tropical fish stores.
(But of course! Where else would you expect to see a topless saleswoman??) In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
(How’d they figure this out, and why?)
(In my next life I want to be a pig)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Don’t try this at home…maybe at work?)
(Are you still thinking about the pig thing? Cuz I am)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
(And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? That hardly seems fair)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
(If you’re ambidextrous do you split the difference?)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight, and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of…?)
(Did taxpayers pay for this research??)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(Who knew? Who cares? How’d they find out? Did they ask them?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes…can you imagine??)
(And why pigs?)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off.
(Honey, I’m home. What the….)
(Bet he wishes he was born a pig)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(In my next life I still want to be a pig…quality over quantity.)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Oh, geez. That’s almost as bad as catfish)
An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish don’t have brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
People who suffer from fear of long words have hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.
(Can you image how much fun that guy’s therapist had when he told him?)
(submitted by Zach Bower)
The slogan on New Hampshire license plates is ‘Live Free or Die’. These license plates are manufactured by prisoners in the state prison in Concord.
(Ironic, isn’t it?)
(submitted by Zach Bower)
After reading all these, all I can say is…lucky, lucky pigs!