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Holiday Cards From Pets

I’d like to bark a merry tune,
I’d like to deck the halls.
I’d like to bring
the world some joy,
But first, I’ll lick my balls.

————————————–

Meowy Christmas
from your loving cat.
Aren’t I cute?
Now leave me the hell alone.

————————————–

We, your cats,
at Christmas say,
Thanks for caring
for us each day.
We love this season,
all green and red,
And by the way,
the hamster’s dead.

————————————–

As man’s best friend,
when you’re in bed,
I just sit and watch.
For Christmas,
so I can hump your leg,
I’ve put mistletoe
on your crotch.

————————————– 

Wrapping paper! Ribbon! Bows!
Tree! Tree! Tree! Tree!
Shiny! Shiny! Christmas balls!
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
{CRASH!!}

————————————–

As watchman-cat,
I’ve done my job,
The house is safe once more.
That shiny stuff
that stormed the tree
Is dead now on the floor.

————————————– 

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