Google Plane

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the congressman. “How about global warming, universal health care or stimulus packages?” as he smiled smugly.

“OK,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”

The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care or the economy when you don’t know crap?”

Then she went back to reading her book.

Her Diary

Tonight I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we can talk. He agreed, but didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong … He said “Nothing”. I asked him if it was my fault he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I love him. He smiled slightly and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior; I don’t know why he didn’t say “I love you too”. When we got home, I felt as I lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

His diary

Motorcycle won’t start … can’t figure out why

Balls

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.

The conclusion

The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
I guess there are a ton of people playing marbles!

Where White Man Went Wrong

You have observed the white man for 90 years. You’ve seen his wars and his technological advances. You’ve seen his progress and the damage he’s done.

The chief nodded in agreement. The official continued:

Considering all the events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong ?

The chief stared at the government official then replied:

When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work. Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing, all night having sex.

Then the chief leaned back and smiled:

Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.